Bite Me: A Love Story Chapter 2

2. Test 1. The Countess A longail Von Normal is A. necessity Backup Mistress of the Bay orbital cavity Dark. B. A Gothic hottie consumed by the hackneyed hopelessness of existence. C. Not perky, but minatory, complex, and trs dim. D. only the above, and possibly more. 2. The vampire Flood and his nosferatu maker, the Countess Jody, were engrossed in a bronze flog in the pose from Rodins The Kiss because A. Their love life is eternal and their mingled souls impart live on in romantic embrace to the end up of time. B. Foo and I were pretty sure that the Countess would go FOAKES (Freak Out and Kill Everything in Sight) when she tack together out our plan to turn the Animals patronage to human. C. We just like to look at our friends, naked and bronzed, because it gets us all hot. D. I cant believe you picked c. You should get a big L tattooed on your forehead to keep on people time in deliberation out what a ginormous loser you be You wish that Foo and I needed pervy prelu des to aim our orgasmic, toe-curling soul-sex. Trust me, the sun weeps that it cannot achieve the juicy hotness of our nookie. 3. Despite myths perpetrated by avaricious day dwellers, the nosferatu are only endangered to the effects of A. Garlic. (Right, because pizza and the breath of vegans will quell their ancient power.) B. Crosses and holy water. (Oh right, because creatures of darkest horror are total bitches of the baby Jebus.) C. Silver. (Uh-huh, and aluminum, because that makes sense.) D. Sunlight. 4. My and Foos superlative challenge as minions is to protect our dark masters, the Countess and Lord Flood, from A. Cops, specifically Inspector Rivera and his clueless Gay Bear partner Cavuto. B. The nearly crusty old vampire and his mysterious fashion-vamp posse. C. The Animals, slacker wastee night crew from the Marina Safeway. D. al iodine of the above and whatnot. 5. Our best chance of defeating Chet, the wide shaved vampire cat, is A. filch ninjas. B. A big hug w hile exhausting my most fly UV-LED leather jacket, forge for my protection by my aforementioned stone master, Foo. C. A saucer of tuna assembly line laced with sedatives and kitty-butt flavor. (I observed in his reason mortal form, that Chet loves kitty-butt flavor.) D. Make a vampire Rottweiler to rock Chets worldview. E. Either a or c, but definitely not d wouldnt a be trs cool? Mouse ninjasAnswers1 D, 2 B, 3 D, 4 D, 5 EGive yourself one point for every right answer. pip5. You rock my stripy socks.4. also-ran3. Trs Loser2. Such a Loser that Losers shame you.0-1. Spare us your contagious loserness. following bridge you pass? Over you go.